She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
