Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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