Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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