I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
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