So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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