Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
