Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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