She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
We are all done wearing pants today
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
