His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
