It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
