And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
