Nicole vs. Life
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
