my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
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