And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
