About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
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