We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Randomize
