dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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