bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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