I hope mine doesn't look like that
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
be right there i have to get my cape
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
