She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
