it's too hot outside to masturbate.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
