Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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