last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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