I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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