The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
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