He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
