Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
