..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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