I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
