Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I queefed so loud it echoed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
