I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
