i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
