my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
farters have to be the big spoon...
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
