Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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