areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
