Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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