i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
