why didn't you poke me back
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
