mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
