Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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