Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
what day is it and did you see me today?
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
