Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
