How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
