yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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