Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
We need a shit load of segways right now
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
