I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
