You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
