Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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