We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
