5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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