I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
