I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
